


Drown

by DragonWagonOfCamels



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, How Do I Tag, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 09:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13924182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonWagonOfCamels/pseuds/DragonWagonOfCamels
Summary: “Port Hope hadn’t changed...”A visit to Smitty’s hometown was a great idea.  Especially when he’d worked hard to avoid it.





	Drown

Port Hope hadn’t changed. Smitty swallowed, reaching out and holding John’s hand. He hadn’t been here in three years. Now it was ready to haunt him again. The faint sound of the nearby river flooded his ears. He hated it. Smitty hated that stupid river and John couldn’t know why. “You okay?” He asked, noticing how quiet he was.

“Yep.” John kissed his temple, pulling him towards the town. Smitty wished he hadn’t agreed to this.

Two days prior

“I’ve seen your hometown, is it my turn next?” He teased, tugging at his shirt. John pushed him onto the bed, starting to kiss his neck.

“It’s up to you.” Smitty groaned, tugging on his hair.

“Dude, no. My hometown sucks.” He laughed, no real humor behind it. John pulled off his jacket, raising an eyebrow.

“More than mine?” He wondered, doubt clear. Smitty shot him a glare, getting out of the bed. “Oh come on. I was joking. Come back.” He complained. He crossed his arms, refusing to look at him. “Fine,” John’s voice was lower, telling him that he had begun to vape. He covered his nose with his shirt, half in anxiousness and half with the fact his asthma had been acting up. “Baby.” He stepped up behind him, resting his hands on his hips.

“No. No amount of petnames are going to get me to agree with this.” He huffed, trying to ignore when John’s hands slid up his shirt. “Would you stop that? I’m trying to be mad at you.” He swatted them away, turning back around to face him. “No.”

“Honey.” He drawled, seeing Smitty turn red. “Sugar...sweetheart.” He purred in his ear. Smitty hummed, covering his smile. “Talk to me.” 

“If you really wanna go, fine. It’s kind of far away, though.” His hands slid up his arms, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. John leaned down and kissed him, satisfied that he’d won the argument. 

It was three hours later that the two had begun to pack for the trip...It was two more hours before they actually left.

Present

“Are you sure you’re okay?” John asked. Smitty nodded, adjusting his beanie and trying to hide his worry.

“Definitely. Just haven’t been here in awhile.” Smitty wished that was true. “Lemme see if there’s still this really old diner down the block. It’s been over since, I dunno, 1913 or something.” He pulled him down the sidewalk, trying to act happy.

Yeah, he could do that. Just act like everything was okay. John didn’t need to know a thing. The river could still be heard.

That night...

Smitty slid out of bed, hoping John didn’t wake up. He threw on a flannel and a pair of sweatpants, heading out the door. John didn’t need to know.

He walked down the road, the streets bare except for the occasional car. Finally, Smitty reached the edge of the town. He walked towards the river, the noise blocking out any other. He sat at the edge, trying to keep his hands from shaking. “Jeez...” It shouldn’t have been hard. The river posed no threat to him now. “Better hope no one finds you.” He laughed, bitter. 

Cautiously, he dipped his hand in the water, chilling his fingers. He could feel the rocks at the bottom, smoothed over but still jagged enough to scar. Smitty kind of missed the stupid place.

Ten years ago

Lucas walked the edge of the bridge, trying to catch up to James. He had done it over and over. Unlike Lucas, he had practice. “Hurry up, dude!” He taunted. Lucas untensed his shoulders, telling himself he needed to stop being so afraid. He walked faster, the thin ledge becoming hard to focus on. His foot slipped, sending him off the bridge.

It wasn’t a big river, per se. But just shallow enough for his back and head to collide with a pair of rocks and deep enough that it was hard to get any air. The whole experience was blurry. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. His heart was beating too fast and his back hurt too much for him to focus. Lucas couldn’t tell if James had left him or not.

The current dragged him downstream, becoming faster and deeper. Regaining a sense of consciousness, he tried to reach the banks. His hair fell his eyes, preventing him from seeing anything. He gasped, coughing before being pulled back down.

It felt like hours before he could breath again, when the current lightened. He forced his eyes open, faced with pure darkness. Lucas shuddered, shutting them again and swimming to what he thought was air. 

He grabbed onto the shore, pulling himself onto the grass and shaking hard. It was oh so cold. Lucas curled in on himself, trying to conserve his heat. He was tired and brain was working too fast. He kept his eyes closed, terrified that there’d be nothing but darkness if he opened them again. No one came for another hour.

One of his parents’ friends had found him, unconscious with gashes on his back. He’d lost a lot of blood and it seemed to be pouring out faster than ever. Lucas didn’t know when the next time he woke up was, but everything hurt. His arms and legs were sore and his back was in more pain than he’d ever felt.

Lucas never went back to that bridge. Or that river. Lucas didn’t ever feel like swimming, anymore. He never talked to James again, either. 

Present day

Smitty hiccuped, wiping his face as tears began to fall. Arms wrapped around his waist, telling him that John had found him. He leaned back into his chest, his scars feeling as bad as they’d first been. “It’s gonna be okay,” John assured, stroking his hair. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, sobbing too hard. Smitty told him what had happened. Confessed it all, and cried through it all. John did nothing but listen. When he’d finished, he held him closer.

“I love you,” He pulled him away from the shore, wiping his tears away. “You know I wouldn’t let you drown.”

**Author's Note:**

> I did exactly zero research. I don’t know anything and I wanted to write sadness because it’s all I can.


End file.
